Thursday, June 4, 2009

The Pain of Starting Anew

Time heals all wounds as they say. Through all the months of practicing the solitary challenge of letting go, of moving on with all the pains and sufferings my heart has gone through, I could really say that time is a divine healer.

As I went on my way of looking forward to regaining myself, several experiences were learned, some friends were far better understood, and a little bit of maturity has been added up to my stock called self.

People told me a couple of times that it wasn't the end of the world for me yet, for I could always look for another one that could hopefully fix this broken but still fragile heart of mine. They told me I was still young to mingle with so much reality. They said, to forget someone, find another one.

Sometimes I thought it's foolish for you to find another one to love, 'coz you might just give yourself an exhausted feeling of trying to recover to your past relationship, especially when you have given a lot of love. It was like running in laps. As you reach another lap, you feel a little more tired, but you keep on reaching your goal.

But was finding someone to love really a goal for me? I guess yes, somehow, but I didn't think of it as a dream either. It's just that, having someone by your side and being loved by someone is a heavenly feeling that even trading your most precious material thing to your loved one requires no hesitation.

I guess it's not right for a person to leave himself behind while everyone is still looking for their "souls". Therefore, I didn't let myself grow roots by just waiting for someone to come. If there were chances, I communicate, I let my heart speak for itself while my mind is analyzing the truth and confessing to me if there would be another devastation on loving.

But just like the feeling of an enjoyed swimming for hours in a pool, when you have already taken a bath and put on your shirt, you still feel the "pressure" of water ringing into your ears. A lot of pressure have been coming into me whenever I find another chance. So many questions keep asking my mind, "Would this be worth given a try?", "Would this work out?", "What if this is still an unsuccessful love?". The dilemma of finding another one is sickening.

Would love be essential in this stage of my life? Too many thoughts to ponder with, better things might be made for me.

" The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart."

(Got this from your Friendster page, hope you don't mind.)

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