Friday, November 11, 2011

The Bad Sides of Being Number Two

"You almost nailed it."


In school competitions, being the second placer isn't much of a victory, well at least for me.


You could have been on the top. You could have been found your niche in the grandeur recognitions. You could have gloriously celebrated your triumph for no one else had become better than you. But if and only if, you worked hard for it. If and only if, you had become the 'better one'.


Most of the time, when people fall in love for the first time, they tend to give almost everything - surrendering every aspect for desires to experience the good of being in love. The saying "First love never dies" could have become complete absurdity nowadays, but still, first love, was all the worth remembering.


You always remember your first date, your first kiss, your first embrace and romance, your first anything... because first love was extremely exciting and impressionable. It is something you carry with you because it was the first time these feelings ever seem real, and are very real. You wanted to hold onto it because you are told love is forever but it is not always like that. Psychologically dealing with these statements, we always remember something we experienced for the first time.


That's why in love, just like school competitions and contests, being the second (or third, fourth...nth) boyfriend/girlfriend isn't much of a joyful thing to care about, especially when you think you give fairly enough or too much on a relationship, while you see your partner still stuck on his/her past.


It happened to me personally, and dealing with it gave me a lot of pain. I was her number 2, and she was my first.





All of the time, I was thinking if she really loved me. If she really cared. The first few weeks were exciting (especially for me who dealt with love the first time), but eventually, her attention gradually decreased, until I realized she still hadn't moved on from her first love then. It hurts of course, and it felt like it was the end of the world for me. I lost myself into pieces and could not find myself for months.


Love is like running in hurdles. You might break down and fall, but eventually you will reach the finish line. Though in many ways we could recall the good and bad memories of our first love, this doesn't mean we still love them, but they're only bits of memories stuck in our head.


Whether we love for the second or nth time, what matters is how much we value ourselves and our partners. One time I thought "I wouldn't love the same way again" as per my first love, but I learned that feelings and emotions are unstable and can change from time to time.



"In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing."
-Mignon McLaughlin

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Remembering Ragna

Before there were flying creatures, before the various gang wars, and before the numerous massively multiplayer online games that existed in the boom of computer games, I was exposed and fascinated to the world of Ragnarok - the first-ever online game I played and got addicted to.


It started in around 2004 (I was in 4th year high school then) when a computer shop was established a few blocks away from where I live. Due to curiosity and innate passion with computers, at first I tried peeking what was inside that shop.


Boys my age were the usual customers of the shop. I could recall they used to play Yuri's Revenge, Counter Strike, and Battle Realms at first, but when the owner installed the client patch for Ragnarok Online, we then signed up at the game's official website and purchased some P50 load (good for 8 hours of gameplay) and gotcha, I was able to play the cutest online game of all time.


I could recall that my first character was a mage (short for magician), though I hardly remember my character's name (because I've had lots of character jobs). But before becoming a first-job character, all characters started as novice players. Upon reaching job level 10, then that would be the time you choose which first-job character you want to play.




A Ragnarok mage.


Being my greatest past time, playing Ragnarok has eaten up most of my time that was supposedly spent studying or doing homeworks. But nevertheless, I still graduated and topped the class. Should I say Ragnarok has become my source of inspiration? Maybe yes - for I worked hard on studying my notes and doing projects because I knew at the end of the day I'm gonna login with my character again; and maybe no - for I spent too much to the point that I could have established my own computer shop with all my expenses then. LOL.


I was still a Ragna "addict" when I entered college. Having studied in FEU is like having encountered a lot of "astig" players with items you've ever dreamed of wanting - mostly rare and precious. There were times I spent my lunchbreak just to play Ragna, but I never skipped class honestly.


My addiction to Ragna led me to discovering other online games. I signed up and played Flyff, Pirate King Online, Perfect World, Krazy Kart, and others, but Ragna still topped my list. For me, it will forever be the best online game I played!





Even though I don't play the game anymore, I could say Ragna made a huge impact in my youth. It gave me the realization that living in a world of fantasies, monsters, and online character friends and guildmates is not a permanent thing. For one day you will wake up and realize that you have to let go of these temporary imaginings and live what is real. I may not cast a fire bolt or thunderstorm to my enemies, but learning all these things make my day happy - because I laugh at myself and remember how I was as a youngster.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

From a dog's point-of-view


I love dogs! For me, they are the best pets around, especially when we speak of loyalty. I had about six dogs to date, and I can say I loved them all and cried when they died.


Imagine what your pet dog have to say to you? Read this and realize how valuable it is to own and pet a dog.






(1) My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you will be painful for me. Remember that before you bring me home.

(2) Give me time to understand what you want from me.

(3) Place your trust in me - it's crucial to my well-being.

(4) Don't be angry at me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You may have your work, your entertainment and your friends. I have only you.

(5) Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don't understand your words, I understand your voice.
Be aware that however you treat me, I'll never forget.

(6) Remember before you hit me that I have teeth that can crush the bones of your hand. Yet I choose not to bite you.

(7) Before you scold me for being uncooperative, obstinate or lazy, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, or I've been in the sun too long, or my heart is getting old and weak.

(8) Take care of me when I get old. You, too, will grow old.

(9) Go with me on difficult journeys. Never say, "I can't bear to watch it" or "Let it happen in my absence." Everything is easier for me if you are there. Remember I love you.



Friday, November 4, 2011

Slum Note

My entry about slum note is still the most popular (that is, most read) post to date. I never expected it, however, I could still recall how slum notes have become so popular back then, especially in high school. Almost every girls have their own slum notes (others call it slum book), or at least, some have already signed one.

The usual slum note was recycled, or improvised version of the classic spring notebook. The first to sign is of course the owner, then she (or some, "he") will let her close friends sign first. It's the trend. It's like before you let other people sign into your slum note, they should have an idea first about you.


PERSONAL INFORMATION

Name:

Birthdate:

Contact No.:

Motto in Life:

Describe Yourself: (for me, the most annoying to fill up, and I used to include *Judge me na lang!*)


Next will be your favorites. This could be a variety of anything!



YOUR FAVORITE...

Food

Color

Animal

Fruit

Drink

Month

Sport

Season

Weather

Time of Day

Shirt

Song

Actor

Actress

Friend

School Subject

Teacher

Sport

TV Show

Movie

Singer


Next is more private sensitive: questions about crush and love. Believe me, I've read a lot of corny and funny answers to these.


ON CRUSH AND LOVE


What is crush?

What is love?

Who is your crush?

Who is your love?

Who is your first...

crush?

love?

kiss?


Then the last part, which is common among all those school slum notes I've signed before, was the dedication/remarks/messages part. You now have the chance to tell anyone anything! But you are required to tell something from the owner of the slum note.


DEDICATION


To yourself (this is weird)


To the owner


To your crush/love


Slum notes are remarkable part of gradeschool and high school life. Almost everyone have signed one, or maybe you had, or still have one that you keep. It reminds us that once we were youngsters who were always excited to sign a slum note not just because you are asked to, but because you just wanted to keep track of your crush's personal information. :-)

Thursday, November 3, 2011

AdSense 101


I have been subscribed to Google AdSense since my blog has been up, but still, I wasn't able to receive any revenues and so far, I just earned $4.05. I didn't know why but when I checked again my AdSense account, it said that ads were configured to my blog. A college friend who maintains her site since the same year I made my blog (that's 2007) already received her revenues for a couple of times. Maybe I should have asked her what she did so she could have given me techniques on the how-to's.





Just yesterday I stumbled upon a friend's post about Google AdSense message that he'll be getting paid. Of course he hid some of the important and secure details but as far as I know, it will be about (or at least) $100 before Google AdSense pays you, so he must have earned about or more than that. Could anyone please tell me if I'm wrong?


I don't want to be stuck with a dollar revenue per year, so if you have some tips and tricks to teach me, just please feel free to leave a comment below.


And, if possible, I will make about 20 posts per month, so I could get more impressions and clicks.

Monday, March 1, 2010

The Power of Love

After so many decades, I have finally watched Avatar last night at The Block.



Believe me, the movie was so effin' amazing! As in its every detail was superb! From the storyline, special effects, and some twists, Avatar didn't fail me. James Cameron is indeed the DIRECTOR! The man behind this great epic! Titanic, also directed by Cameron, has been one of my favorite movies. And to add up on my list, I'll put Avatar at the top. *winks*



The 3-D cinema has helped me a lot in visualizing a seemed-real facade of the big screen. It's like the Na'vis were just in front of me. The fauna. The everything. It made me realize things were so real.

"I see you."

But the magnitude of the story is the anticipation of LOVE - a force within anyone unbeatable by any other powers, by any other forces. The love of desire, the love of the tribe, the love of nature, the love of survival, and the unconditional love of Jake to Neytiri - these are all what commenced and ended Avatar - a majestic film that taught me a lot about being brave and fighting for not only the truth, but also for what is right.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

When I became an "author"

Several months ago I read an article in chow.com and learned about how Filipino foods are being globally accepted in restaurants in the US. With that, I wrote a blog entry about Filipino dishes. Someone named Ullessis dropped a comment stating that he liked my entry and wanted to include it in their magazine. I only had the chance to read his comment after a month, but was really surprised that someone had liked what I wrote. I replied to his comment and said it was OK with me to include my article, but I said I wanted to know the name of the magazine. More surprisingly, he replied saying that it was a monthly-published OFW magazine in Kuwait! He added he'll give me a copy by the time the magazine will be produced.

I was really happy because someone liked what I did. Maybe because I write better in Tagalog, because I was actually the punong patnugot of our school publication in high school. But still I was hoping then I'd receive an issue of their magazine and read what I wrote. Who wouldn't be glad seeing his name in print and commending your work?

But unlike what he told in his comment that he'll give me a copy of their magazine's issue, months passed and I didn't receive any deliveries at all, neither a follow-up comment on my post. I came to realize that it was OK with me if he didn't give me one. What's important was he said he'll "include" me in their magazine. That's at least, something to be proud of.

Today when I browsed my old posts I looked by my blog entry and thought on searching about the name of their magazine. And gotcha, I found it. It was also a blogspot blog but they only show screenshots of a particular page. Nevertheless, I found my entry. I thought they didn't do any editing at all.



Today is a happy day. Someone accepted and liked what I wrote, plus, I became an "author". Give me an A for Accomplishment.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

The Pain of Starting Anew

Time heals all wounds as they say. Through all the months of practicing the solitary challenge of letting go, of moving on with all the pains and sufferings my heart has gone through, I could really say that time is a divine healer.


As I went on my way of looking forward to regaining myself, several experiences were learned, some friends were far better understood, and a little bit of maturity has been added up to my stock called self.


People told me a couple of times that it wasn't the end of the world for me yet, for I could always look for another one that could hopefully fix this broken but still fragile heart of mine. They told me I was still young to mingle with so much reality. They said, to forget someone, find another one.


Sometimes I thought it's foolish for you to find another one to love, 'coz you might just give yourself an exhausted feeling of trying to recover to your past relationship, especially when you have given a lot of love. It was like running in laps. As you reach another lap, you feel a little more tired, but you keep on reaching your goal.


But was finding someone to love really a goal for me? I guess yes, somehow, but I didn't think of it as a dream either. It's just that, having someone by your side and being loved by someone is a heavenly feeling that even trading your most precious material thing to your loved one requires no hesitation.


I guess it's not right for a person to leave himself behind while everyone is still looking for their "souls". Therefore, I didn't let myself grow roots by just waiting for someone to come. If there were chances, I communicate, I let my heart speak for itself while my mind is analyzing the truth and confessing to me if there would be another devastation on loving.




But just like the feeling of an enjoyed swimming for hours in a pool, when you have already taken a bath and put on your shirt, you still feel the "pressure" of water ringing into your ears. A lot of pressure have been coming into me whenever I find another chance. So many questions keep asking my mind, "Would this be worth given a try?", "Would this work out?", "What if this is still an unsuccessful love?". The dilemma of finding another one is sickening.


Would love be essential in this stage of my life? Too many thoughts to ponder with, better things might be made for me.


" The best and most beautiful things in this world cannot be seen or even heard, but must be felt with the heart."

(Got this from your Friendster page, hope you don't mind.)

Friday, March 27, 2009

Blunt and piercing

I was doing my programming tasks just this evening when someone from my manager's contact list in MSN (I was using her laptop for testing purposes) popped up a link from an online magazine site. Curious enough, I clicked the link, then after reading the entire article, some sort of anger came inside me. This is another case of racism against Filipinos.


READ!


What do you think?

Friday, February 13, 2009

love.hugs.peace



I pledged peace. lovehugspeace.com.



I, from the Philippines, made a pledge to help out a friend or family member today.